I just had a painful phone call from my father.

About a month ago, my parents went over some friends house on a Sunday afternoon. Later that night, my mother couldn't remember where they'd been.

They went to her heart doctor, who had recently changed her medicine. He said the new medicine had a side effect of affecting short term memory. We thought we were in the clear.

My father has been telling me for about a year that my mother isn't right and forgets things all the time, but I've never witnessed it and dismissed it.

Tonight, my father calls me and says I'm gonna put you on the phone with your mother. Ask her who put up the Christmas Tree. My mom gets on the phone and asks me if I put up their Christmas Tree. I said no (which I didn't). I hear her ask my father, and he tells her she put it up last week. She said "no, I didn't". She got upset, said asked me about myself, said goodbye, and hung up.

Anyone on here have any dealings with family members having Alzheimer's? Does this sound familiar? My mother is 71 years old.

Really bothering me right now.

Yep, both of my grandparents on my father's side had alzheimers. My father is starting to show early signs at 74.

Could very well be the beginnings of alzheimers. I will tell you, stand by for a tough ride if it is. My grandparents took very different paths, both were tough to deal with.

It takes away memory as if you are peeling away an onion. It starts with the outer layer of memories first. Can't remember what happened several minutes ago. As time passes more and more of the memory starts to fade. Next thing, a few years go missing, eventually as the layers get peeled away you won't even recognize the person anymore.

My grandmother was an odd case, since she stayed a sweet old lady, just forgot things. My grandfather on the other hand was pretty bad near the end. Both had to be put into an assisted living facility. My grandfather was eventually put into a locked portion of the facility. He got to the point where he was stripping down naked and harassing others there. He became very mean and aggressive, which is pretty common.

Well, thanks for your story.

I hope it's that they still don't have her medicine right. But I'm prepared for the worst.

Very upsetting, to say the least.

Thanks again.

Point #1 Not all dementia is Alzheimer's.

Ask your mom's PCP to order a standard neuropsych eval for dementia. There are a few reversible causes.


Point #2 Never ask a heart doctor about anything but the heart.

Your desire to believe changing meds will fix the symptoms matches his desire to believe you will leave sooner if he just writes a script.


Point #3 Don't be sad about this.

My grandma was 93 in her last year, and had long since lost the ability to form new memories. She did not recognize anyone as family. But she had language skills intact, and helped a nightime caretaker learn to speak english.

Both of my parents have dementia. As said above, not all dementia is Alzheimer's. Both my parents have vascular dementia. My mom's is from a series of TIAs. My dad's began with a fall and was compounded with narrowing of the carotid artery.

If your mom's dementia truly came out of left field (i.e., very sudden with no trouble prior), my first thought is that a neurologist might want to rule out her having a mild stroke (e.g., TIA).

My mom has had dementia for over 12 years. My dad for over 3 years. In my opinion it's critical to get her to a neurologist for a full evaluation. He will likely get an MRI. He will give her a form of mental exam. Some also use SPECT scans, which may well be the best way to diagnose Alzheimer's in a living person based on its signature.

There are a couple reasons it's critical to try and discover the root cause. First, if it is due to stroke (think of "stroke" broadly as a "brain attack" event, much like a "heart attack" is to the heart), she may have a condition that predisposes her to additional strokes that can be treated.

The second reason is that knowing the underlying condition helps you understand and prepare for the progression. Alzheimer's is a relatively steady decline. Vascular dementia more often is not. People with vascular dementia can maintain their present state for quite some time -- often years -- generally until another "event" causes the next decline. As such, vascular dementia is more like a decline, followed by a plateau of variable duration, followed by another decline subsequent "events."

Regardless of its form, dementia can be psychologically draining to observe in a parent or anyone you love. As it progresses, they become less and less their former self.

Another thing ... Ensure that you and your family's anger and frustration at the disease are not perceived by your mother as anger at her. If she states or remembers something incorrrectly, don't make a huge deal out of it. Don't try and convince her she's not remembering something correctly. This can cause tremendous angst in her while increasing your frustration.

Again, be sure to get her in for an extensive examination and diagnostic as soon as possible.

Best of luck to you, your mom and family!

(12-20-2010 10:09 PM)Vottomatic Wrote:  I just had a painful phone call from my father.

About a month ago, my parents went over some friends house on a Sunday afternoon. Later that night, my mother couldn't remember where they'd been.

They went to her heart doctor, who had recently changed her medicine. He said the new medicine had a side effect of affecting short term memory. We thought we were in the clear.

My father has been telling me for about a year that my mother isn't right and forgets things all the time, but I've never witnessed it and dismissed it.

Tonight, my father calls me and says I'm gonna put you on the phone with your mother. Ask her who put up the Christmas Tree. My mom gets on the phone and asks me if I put up their Christmas Tree. I said no (which I didn't). I hear her ask my father, and he tells her she put it up last week. She said "no, I didn't". She got upset, said asked me about myself, said goodbye, and hung up.

Anyone on here have any dealings with family members having Alzheimer's? Does this sound familiar? My mother is 71 years old.

Really bothering me right now.

Hang in there Chatter, I went through this with my Grandmother for 8 long years. She spent her last 8 years in a nursing home because she was doing things at home that could've really harmed herself and my Grandfather. She never got violent, but she always called me Dad when i went to visit her. It's been a while since i've dealt with this, but i do believe there's some new drugs on the market that can help with this. I would talk to YOUR Doctor (If he's young), nothing against older Doctors, but sometimes they're old school and don't believe in some of the new technology that's out there.

My father has vascular dementia probably as the result of narrowing of the arteries. He is 82 and it has been a slow steady progression over a number of years, there was no one incident that brought it on.

His short term memory is bad but he still recognizes us and can hold a conversation although limited. What is very difficult to deal with are the personality changes. The best way I can describe it is that his filters are gone and he will say things that are very painful but he does not realize what he is saying and how hurtful it is.

Xpectations response was great. There are some medications that are available to slow the progression of the disease, my father takes Aricept. My advice is to talk to the Cincinnati Alzheimers Assoc, they provide good resources and can suggest docs that specialize in these diseases. Have her get a thorough evaluation to determine the underlying cause and develop a course of treatment.

Above all be patient with her and recognize that what is happening is the result of the disease. Good Luck

Thanks for the responses.

My father came to the office this morning and said it's like it never happened. Said she's back to normal.

I guess it's like some kind of episode.

We're thinking the vascular dementia might be it. She has had alot of heart problems.

I've encouraged my father to have her evaluated. We'll see what happens.

It will get worse... I still remember the last time my grandfather recognized me (about 4 years before he died).

By the end my grandfather would talk to my grandmother through an old picture (she had died almost 20 years before he died). He had full conversations. I will say, he obviously loved her because she was the only person whom he didn't forget by the end. My mom was one of the last (she was the local caretaker of him through it all), but even she was forgotten over time.

My Dad passed away on December 9 from complications of Parkinson's Disease. It's not the same as Alzheimer's, but a similarity was his inability to speak or communicate with us for the last year of his life. He could answer questions with yes/no, although sometimes even that answer was incorrect. He liked working crossword puzzles so my Mom and I would ask him the questions and he could answer many of those, although it was a struggle most of the time for him to get the word out. Eventually he could no longer communicate.

It's very hard to watch a parent not be able to enjoy the last years of their life, be with their wife/husband (my Mom and Dad were married 57 years) and to lose their dignity. I'm thankful there are facilities and people that can help them and their families as they go through such a difficult time.

I hope all goes well with your Mom and family.

Sorry for your loss, bearcatfan. My other grandfather had Parkinson's as well. By the end they had him on drugs that caused all kinds of memory issues. My dad has shown early signs of PD himself, and it is expected that my sister and/or I will end up with it as well (past family history). Both diseases are certainly on my watch list, both for signs and for cures.

My dad has Parkinson's. He's 67 and has had it for a few years now. He's still doing pretty well, considering. bearcatfan, my deepest sympathy (empathy?) for your loss. As you write, it's already hard watching my dad slowly lose some of his capabilities, and it's going to be harder as time passes. I think about it like he'll be better today that he will be tomorrow, so I try to make the most of today. Helps put things in perspective too - I certainly handle Bearcats losses better than I did 10 years ago.

mlb, do you know if your grandfather and father have hereditary Parkinson's? I don't know too much about how people get it (I tried to read up about the disease at first but it just got too hard and I stopped - my mother could get a PhD in it though if she wanted), but I know they've found some genetic link. My dad apparently doesn't have the hereditary kind, so I'm supposed to be fine. My mom believes he developed it from taking statins like Lipitor (which virtually every male over 50 takes) that have neurodegenerative side effects, but who knows. There are companies that do genetic testing where you can find out if you are truly at a higher risk. 23andMe is one that my dad did - it was started by google founder Sergey Brin's wife. Brin's mom has Parkinson's and he has a genetic mutation that makes it somewhat-to-very likely that he will develop it as well.

(12-21-2010 11:10 AM)levydl Wrote:  mlb, do you know if your grandfather and father have hereditary Parkinson's? I don't know too much about how people get it (I tried to read up about the disease at first but it just got too hard and I stopped - my mother could get a PhD in it though if she wanted), but I know they've found some genetic link. My dad apparently doesn't have the hereditary kind, so I'm supposed to be fine. My mom believes he developed it from taking statins like Lipitor (which virtually every male over 50 takes) that have neurodegenerative side effects, but who knows. There are companies that do genetic testing where you can find out if you are truly at a higher risk. 23andMe is one that my dad did - it was started by google founder Sergey Brin's wife. Brin's mom has Parkinson's and he has a genetic mutation that makes it somewhat-to-very likely that he will develop it as well.

I believe it is the hereditery kind... my dad just turned 60 but has never had any issues with cholesterol or high blood pressure, hence he has never had to take those medications.

(12-21-2010 09:12 AM)pobearman Wrote:  My father has vascular dementia probably as the result of narrowing of the arteries. He is 82 and it has been a slow steady progression over a number of years, there was no one incident that brought it on.

His short term memory is bad but he still recognizes us and can hold a conversation although limited. What is very difficult to deal with are the personality changes. The best way I can describe it is that his filters are gone and he will say things that are very painful but he does not realize what he is saying and how hurtful it is.

Xpectations response was great. There are some medications that are available to slow the progression of the disease, my father takes Aricept. My advice is to talk to the Cincinnati Alzheimers Assoc, they provide good resources and can suggest docs that specialize in these diseases. Have her get a thorough evaluation to determine the underlying cause and develop a course of treatment.

Above all be patient with her and recognize that what is happening is the result of the disease. Good Luck

Some very good advice from all the posts.

My mother has 3rd level dementia. An Alzheimers specialist placed her on Aricept but not everyone can handle the side effects of the drug. After about two months we discontinued her use of Aricept and within a few days she was back to "her normal self".

Agressive behavior could also be the result of UTIs. This has happened to her several times in the last year. The caregivers at her assisted living facility recognize her changes and have her tested and then placed on meds which put her "back to her normal self" within 24 hrs.

If a family member is the caregiver, everyone else in the family needs to recognize the task the caregiver has and the support they need as well. It is a tough assignment and should be shared when possible.

(12-27-2010 08:47 PM)colucat Wrote:  

(12-21-2010 09:12 AM)pobearman Wrote:  My father has vascular dementia probably as the result of narrowing of the arteries. He is 82 and it has been a slow steady progression over a number of years, there was no one incident that brought it on.

His short term memory is bad but he still recognizes us and can hold a conversation although limited. What is very difficult to deal with are the personality changes. The best way I can describe it is that his filters are gone and he will say things that are very painful but he does not realize what he is saying and how hurtful it is.

Xpectations response was great. There are some medications that are available to slow the progression of the disease, my father takes Aricept. My advice is to talk to the Cincinnati Alzheimers Assoc, they provide good resources and can suggest docs that specialize in these diseases. Have her get a thorough evaluation to determine the underlying cause and develop a course of treatment.

Above all be patient with her and recognize that what is happening is the result of the disease. Good Luck

Some very good advice from all the posts.

My mother has 3rd level dementia. An Alzheimers specialist placed her on Aricept but not everyone can handle the side effects of the drug. After about two months we discontinued her use of Aricept and within a few days she was back to "her normal self".

Agressive behavior could also be the result of UTIs. This has happened to her several times in the last year. The caregivers at her assisted living facility recognize her changes and have her tested and then placed on meds which put her "back to her normal self" within 24 hrs.

If a family member is the caregiver, everyone else in the family needs to recognize the task the caregiver has and the support they need as well. It is a tough assignment and should be shared when possible.

I'm sorry but I don't exactly understand. By UTIs, are you speaking about Urinary Tract Infections?

(12-27-2010 08:52 PM)ctipton Wrote:  I'm sorry but I don't exactly understand. By UTIs, are you speaking about Urinary Tract Infections?

Yes, he is referring to urinary tract infections.

Infections, including UTIs, can dramatically change behavior in the elderly, especially those with any form of dementia. Infections can cause people to go "south" in a hurry in a number of areas: cognitive ability, strength, lethargy, mood, behavior, etc.

There have been several times when I thought my dad may have suffered a TIA or some other event that caused a major step down in his progression. In each of those cases it turned out to be an infection and he returned to his new "normal" after a course of antibiotics.

It's to the point that I can now spot signs of potential infections (he gets lethargic, loses his strength and balance, has difficulty staying engaged in conversations, etc.) before they get too far out of control. I can then get him evaluated earlier so that they can remedy the problem before it gets worse.

Man I am sorry to hear everyone is going through this. My aunt has Alzheimers which started shortly after my uncle passed away. At first they though it was medication she was taking to counter depression after my uncle died.

Not easy for anyone involved. She has been hospitalized for some time now. Last saw her in late 2008 and she confused me with another relative with the same name.

While waiting to hear what the experts say, there is evidence that mental and physical exercise can slow the progress of the disease...anything that helps the heart, can also help the brain, by slowing down the death of neurons, and, as a result, the connections they maintain in the brain...

Aerobic exercise of any kind
Mental exercise (crosswords, reading books, etc.)

These are low-cost, and, along with effective prescriptions, can slow the onset of this particular disease.


I am praying for you and you family...

May God bless and keep you Chatter...

Thanks for the support.

No memory lapse incidents since the last one I reported. But me and my Dad have decided to have my older brother talk my Mom into getting evaluated. She listens to him but is stubborn when it comes to our recommendations.

Again, thanks for the support and your stories. I'm sorry for all who are going through this, and my prayers go out to you. Hopefully this thread has lended some form of comfort through many of us going through similar situations.